No matter how much scientists dismiss myths about blonde intellectuals’ low intellectual abilities, people continue to joke about the particular logic of bad blondes.

We have prepared a list of the coolest blonde jokes, which will be appreciated both by the representatives of open hair who have a self-ironic sense, and by the lovers of blonde jokes with nonsense and nonsense.
So, read these jokes with new blondes and share them with your friends on social networks.

Funny blond jokes

In this paragraph, the best short and long blonde jokes are waiting for you, which will allow you to update your well-known list of strong blonde jokes and get a share of fresh jokes about the beautiful blonde sex.
⭐ – Why he doesn’t suit me
-Well, he’s smart and you’re beautiful, and still blonde. – I don’t understand… – That’s about it!
The blonde says to her friend: I think she applied for marriage. He said he wanted to end our friendship.
⭐ A blonde knows Spanish, English, French and German. But only the numbers.
⭐ A blonde sat on a bench. On a piece of paper it says, “Be careful, it’s painted!” A guy walks past her and says, “Girl, you can read.”
She looked at the piece of paper. “That’s a lie!” I’m a natural blonde!
⭐ Husband: – You’re completely crazy! Blonde wife: – You called me fat now
!
⭐ The blonde at the doctor: – Doctor, I found a box with the inscription “Don’t eat!”. But I ate it. Tell me, I’ll die
-Well, we’ll all die… -Everyone
! Alas, what have I done!
⭐ A fisherman stands on the shore with a fishing rod. A man runs to him. “You saw a blonde in a blue skirt
here.” “Yes, she was here about 10 minutes ago.” – Good. Then I’ll probably catch her! – I don’t think so, the flow here is damn good.
⭐ In the bar, an amazing blonde approaches a man and says: -Just three words and I will do everything you want for only 100 dollars. – Glue my wallpapers
⭐ Two blondes: -It is said that the size of the breasts is inherited. Why then I have the first dimension and the 4th mother
– I think you have your father’s eyelashes!
The blonde comes to the lawyer and asks him: – It is true that, after the divorce, you can get half of the husband’s condition
– If everything is done correctly, then yes, this is possible. Why you want a divorce
– I don’t want to, I just want to find a suitable husband.
⭐ Two blondes: – I found the recipe for eternal youth! – Which is
– Every year, to correct the date of birth in the bulletin!
⭐ In the cafe, two blondes to the waiter: – Voucher! The waiter brings them. – Not! Separated! How can we count the calories for two
!
⭐ The blonde turned 18 years old. – I’m an adult now! Now I can do everything my mother forbade me to do! So! First, I’ll lick the cradle, then I’ll plug my fingers.
⭐ Newspaper ad: – I want to meet a 25-year-old girl, blonde, 180 cm tall, with blue eyes, 90-60-60, smart, beautiful. In short about me – 25 cm.
A man works near his house. His blonde neighbor leaves the house next door, opens her mailbox, looks in, slams her, and runs back to the house. After a while, the neighbor runs away again, looks in the mailbox and goes home. When everything is repeated for the third time, the man can’t stand it anymore and asks: – What’s the matter ?
Something happened
. – Something must have happened. My stupid computer always reports “You have mail”.
⭐ – Next year you will marry a beautiful rich brunette! Says the riddle. – Thank you! Here is the money for your work, but I will double that amount if you tell me what to do with the ugly blonde, painted and without any money on my soul!
“I’ve heard that brunettes are much smarter than blondes.” – Not true! My wife was both blonde and brunette and I didn’t see any difference!
“As a man, I really like young blondes.” – But as a driver – I hate them!
⭐ – Why, after a hearty dinner, the blonde goes to bed on the stove
– She wants to burn some calories.
“I’m Mr. Gray’s wife,” says the brunette, meeting the beautiful blonde at the front desk. -Oh, how cute. I’m his secretary too. -You mean, former secretary, no
said Mrs. Gray expressively.
⭐ Two young men are heading towards two blondes. “Let’s ask them their names!” – the young people say to each other. The blondes heard and said to themselves: -Don’t tell them! – All right, Alina! – Damn it, Monica!
⭐ Two blondes talk about their personal lives: – How many men have you had
– Two. – How many, how many
Only two
– You see, after seventy-seven, I lost my number and started again.
⭐ – What does a blonde do when she sits at the computer
– She screams because she sees a mouse!
“We can talk
,” a young man asks his blonde girlfriend. – Oh no. I’m so tired, I better dance.
⭐ One blonde complains to another: – Imagine, I stay at home, all of a sudden – someone rings the bell. I open up – a handsome young man, wondering if my husband is home. I answer no. Then he comes in, pushes me on the couch and… – I still can’t understand what he wanted from your husband
⭐ An expensive yacht is sailing in the Mediterranean. On it, a man in shorts catches fish, and his wife, blonde in all shapes, sunbathes next to him. The man takes out a small fish. And a half-rotten boat is floating nearby, on it four men in ragged, dirty clothes pulling out a net full of fish. The man on the yacht: – It’s always like this: one has everything, the other has nothing!
⭐ The blonde complains to her friend: – I don’t understand the psychology of men! My friend calls and says, “I’ll be with you in 10 minutes.” She really thinks I was born suddenly with makeup, hairstyle and lace lingerie
⭐ Two blondes see a cosmetic bag downstairs. He picked her up. One opens it and looks in the mirror. “That’s how this face is known to me.” The second one also looked in the mirror: – Crazy, it’s me!
⭐ Beauty contest. On stage – a blonde, in the hall – her support group, all the blondes in solidarity. – So, the last task for intelligence! How many will be two or two
– Five! – Wrong! “Give her another chance!” – Good. How many will be two or two
– Three
– Wrong! “Give her another chance!” Let her try again! – Good. How many will be two or two
– Four… -I give you another chance! Let’s see if you can guess again!
⭐ The blonde is walking near a farm. After approaching the farmer, she asks him: – And why doesn’t your cow have horns
– Uh… Cattle can do damage with their horns. So I cut them. Sometimes we also use acid for this purpose. In general, many breeds of cattle are specially bred without horns. But the main reason this cow has no horns is that… is a horse.
⭐ Two blondes are watching a James Bond movie: – I’d like to have a murder license too. -But you already have a driver’s license.
⭐ The boss approaches the blonde secretary and says: – Of course, I close my eyes to the fact that you write love letters at work, but I ask you to stop putting my signature on them!
⭐ Blonde in a digital store. – Tell me what is the difference between these two mobile phones
– The fact that one of them is an MP3 player and the second is a camera.
⭐ Two blondes. First: – Imagine, this year March 8 falls on Friday! The second: – What a horror! Good thing not thirteen.
Hello! This is a center for studying blondes. If you want to work with us, nod.
⭐ The brunette came to visit the blonde. The brunette made a coffee and said, “You know, there’s hot water left in the kettle and it’s a shame to throw it away. What can the
blonde do to her? “” Put her in the fridge. Hot water will always be useful in the house.

Short jokes with blondes

It is believed that the first funny jokes with blondes penetrated the Romanian folklore from the European (English, German, Polish) and American folklore. Apparently, the image of the “bad blonde” initially appeared as a mockery of the fans of glamorous bad taste, trying to imitate the film patterns.
Jokingly, the blonde commits stupid and often illogical actions.
↩️ The blonde robbed a bank. She shot the safe and disappeared, taking a guard with her.
↩️ A conversation between two blondes: – You need three sheep to knit a sweater. You knew that
– No, I didn’t even know I could knit.
↩️ When the blonde buys a car, she chooses it to match the shade of the lipstick.
↩️ A blonde asks: – And how, I went
straight to the Driving Instructor, swimming towards the shore: – No!
↩️ Two blondes are talking: – I finally learned how to start a stupid regime. – Well done! You also learned how to stop him
↩️ From a conversation between two blondes: – Why did you stop being friends with Maria
– Because she painted herself in a brunette. – And what
– It hurts smart.
↩️ The blonde talks on the phone: – I have a double celebration: my husband ran away with a friend I have hated for a long time!
↩️ – The test results have come. I have bad news for you. – I have cancer, Doctor
– No! What the hell is cancer here, you just did an IQ test!
↩️ If the hair at the roots darkens, the brain still resists.
↩️ Two blondes leave the cafe and see that the wheels of their cars have been stolen. The first blonde reproaches the second one: – I said that sign in the corner means “Caution, children!”, And you – And what will these children do to us
Now admire!
↩️ The blonde says to her friend: – You know, I’m so unique that I was included in the Red Book when I was 14 years old. – Crazy, they gave you your passport.
↩️ The blonde is getting ready for surgery. On the day he goes to the hospital. When she was already lying on the operating table, the anesthesiologist asked her: – You have allergies –
Strawberries, the girl answers. The anesthesiologist, seriously, shouted to the operation team: – Everyone understood
! Today we do not add strawberries to anesthesia!
↩️ The blonde says to her friend: – You’re so funny when I’m drunk.
↩️ Two blondes are sitting on different banks of the river. One shouts to the other, “How can I get to the other side
?” The other said, “You’re already on the other side.”
↩️ The blonde at a car show: – Why does this car have such a small steering wheel
-But what’s the matter
– Well, its wheels are big. – And what is the relationship between the size of the steering wheel and the wheels
! -But how can you turn such big wheels with such a small steering wheel!

    ↩️ A double threat is when one blonde teaches another to drive.
    ↩️ – My dear, you liked the expensive French wine I presented for your birthday
    – I didn’t like it. – Why
    – I couldn’t open it.
    ↩️ Another blonde: – I made the second hole in my ear. – And now you hear better
    ↩️ What is the name of a smart blonde
    Golden Retriever.
    ↩️ The pregnant blonde gets on the bus, looks at a man and says: – You don’t want to give me my seat
    – No. “Because you’re a pig!” – Because I’m a bus driver.
    ↩️ The blonde meets an old friend: – You play sports
    – Yes, I’m going to the Greco-Roman fight. Blonde: You’re for the Greeks or the Romans
    ↩️ A guy with a blonde makes love and suddenly she asks him: – You put on a condom
    – No, why do you ask
    – What if you have AIDS
    ! – But I don’t have AIDS, don’t worry. “Well, thank God!” I wouldn’t want to get infected a second time.
    ↩️ Blonde: – The IQ test showed that I am beautiful!