Dry and sarcastic jokes are part of a special world of Romanian humor. Either you love them, or you hate them, or you understand them, or you avoid them. If you are in the first category, then you will definitely like this selection of very dry jokes.
Here we have collected the driest jokes of all time and on various topics, starting with dry jokes with babies and ending with those about cannibals.
Dry jokes
➞ Two intellectuals and an engineer were walking down the street.
➞ -Yes, you saw Vali
-He was a dog with him in his mouth!
➞ A dwarf was walking through the forest. Suddenly, he meets a dwarf. And they move on together. Then they meet a dwarf-dwarf-dwarf. And they all move on. At one point they meet a giant. They go on their way and meet a huge giant. They all go on and meet a huge-huge-huge. And they all merge when they meet a bridge. Everyone passes, only giant-giant-giant doesn’t pass. You know why
because you have Romanian sneakers.
➞ -Don’t be upset, I’m looking for Liberty Street! -I do not mind! -Look for her!
➞ Two skeletons pinched the skin.
➞ Two children are playing on the street: one of them is called Ion and the other is called his mother.
➞ A man had two horses, one white and one black, and to distinguish them from one he cut off his tail.
➞ Two babes in the cemetery were reading the graves of the deceased spouses. One asks: -You how many you have, dear
-75. But you
-85. – Aoleu, and you’re going home
!
➞ A Jewish child is playing with an ashtray. Hitler comes, sees him and asks: -Who are you looking for
➞ At the doctor: -Doctor, my dog has no nose! -And how it smells
-A terrible.
Dry and good jokes
↩️ An airplane was flying over the Atlantic. After a time of flight it catches a stream of cold air and begins to collapse. The pilot says, “We have to throw away all our luggage for the plane to balance.” They drop off their luggage and the plane flies on.
↩️ Two lovers on the edge of a lake. The girl says to the boy, “Honey, if you really care about me and you love me, go to the bottom of the lake and get me a pearl.” The boy goes, brings the pearl and when he comes out to the surface of the lake, his luggage from the last bank falls on his head.
↩️ A tomato was sitting in the middle of a highway! Another says, “Watch out!” A truck is coming! To which she replies: -It’s… flake.
↩️ The real phase at a traffic light: a nervous one is cursed: – Smile at me from under the tram!
↩️ A man was thinking, but when the idea came to him, he slipped.
↩️ I mean, a sparrow was sitting on a branch, to which a bird comes and says: – You see I’m pushing you. And he pushed her.
↩️ An old man had only three more hairs on his head. He goes to the barber and tells him to cut his side. Hairdresser: -Hop. One fell. The old man: -It’s nothing. Make a cutter with a path in the middle. Hairdresser: -Hop. Another fell. The old man: -Okay, then hit me on the head, just like the mobsters. Hairdresser: Aoleo, this one fell too. The old man: -Give it over, make it a valve.
↩️ Three old horses at a bar. One says: -Yes, when I was young, I ran 100km \ h! The second says: -That’s nothing! I was running at 150 km! Third: -I’m going to the toilet; I’ll be right back and I’ll tell you how hard I ran. He had met an old, very bad dog. The dog says to the horse: -I heard what you were talking about. You should know that when I was young I ran away from eating the earth, I ran at 500 km \ h! Finally, the horse returns and says to the others: -Yes, you see, that dog can talk!
Dry and short jokes
↩️ – How a snail commits suicide
– It looks at the prey!
↩️ Two mosquitoes were on a Harley Davidson motorcycle. One says: “Stop me, because a fly has entered my eye”!
↩️ -Two candies are on the roof. Which jumps first
-That mint.
↩️ -You know what he says to the ball – ball
Because he’s slapping. If he made a splash-splash-splash, he would call it a trill.
↩️ While grazing, a horse swallows a locust. She starts shaking her horse’s belly: “Hey, get me out of here!” But the horse was gone!
↩️ John and Mary on their wedding night. Mary: John, John came in
. Yes. Mary: Then – Aahh!
↩️ Two frogs walk through the desert and meet at the top of a sand dune: -Hello sister, where are you going
-Aiurea, soro. -Let’s get closer.
↩️ -Hello, the mistake
-A flea with cotton wool in the ears.
-No.
↩️ Two strands of sand flew over the desert. At one point one says: We don’t land
The other answers: where in this crowd
!
↩️ -What does a pregnant woman mean for cannibals
-A kinder egg with surprises.
↩️ Ion to Vasile: – “Ask me if my name is Gheorghe!” – “Your name is Gheorghe
” – “No.”
↩️ Q: What is small, green and climbs the walls
A: An ambitious cucumber.
↩️ -What’s small, black, with two white dots
↩️ A deaf-mute goes home after a hard day’s work. His wife is waiting for him at home. The guy sits down at the table, makes the sign of the pope, his wife comes, puts food on him; he makes the sign of drinking, puts his wife in the glass of wine; then he puts his hands to his mouth in the shape of a diamond and sticks his tongue out. The girl undresses, but he didn’t want that.
Dry short jokes
- The hysterical piglet lived in 7 seas and 7 countries. One morning he wakes up, looks out the window, and says, “Oh, how far I am!”
- -Miss, you’re pessimistic
-No, seamstress. - Two pancakes work! At one point one stumbles and jumps on the jam.
- A ball rolls to the end, there it overturns.
- -Why are there more fleas than humans
-Because it’s very hard to make such a small condom! - The red mother, the red father and the child were walking on a railway line. The junior was left behind. The father returns, punches him in the head and makes him tomato sauce, after which he says: – Flush!
- -What is perfectly round and made of glass
-A wooden cube. - It was once a group of chickens. And they all had leather jackets.
- Some cows were crocheting gasoline on the bottom of a sea. Some crocodiles pass by and eat them. Moral: Don’t get on the apple tree if you don’t know how to swim because the tram is trampling you.
- One day on the 12th, an iceberg was floating on the Atlantic, with a frozen smile on its face, looking for the Titanic to sink. After a while, however, he began to sweat from walking so much that his panting smile had fallen out. What had happened
? - -Elephants fly with their ears. -You saw an elephant flying
-So it flies very fast. - A guy goes to a psychologist: -Doctor, I’m confused… or maybe not…
Dry and funny jokes
➞ If we gather all the trees and make the biggest tree in the world, and if we gather all the waters and make the biggest water in the world, and if we gather all the saws and make the biggest saw in the world, and with the biggest the saw in the world I would cut the biggest tree in the world and I would collapse it in the biggest water in the world… I would get the biggest “splash” possible in the world.
➞ One day, a reporter went to a forest and found a cave. When he entered it, the entrance could be awful. He saw a shepherd nearby and called him to him, asking him why he could smell that cave. The shepherd replied that it was a very long story. The reporter said that he had time and the shepherd started: “Once upon a time there was a king’s daughter who was stolen by a kite. The emperor said that he would give half of the kingdom and the daughter of his wife to the one who would save her. And 12 strong men came and fought with the kite, but they all died. And the 13th Warrior appeared, beating the kite unseen. And he saved the girl and they lived many happy years. ” To which the reporter asks: “And yet, why does this cave stink?
And the shepherd, very offended, says: “Yes, maybe someone did his job in it”.
➞ Two cows in a tree were mixing mineral water. A flying crocodile passes by and asks
: -What time is it?
➞ – What is the difference between a suicide bomber and a big girl
– The suicide bomber tries to die and the big girl dies to try.
➞ One day, walking through the jungle, Tarzan finds a stick and, lifting it from below, looks at it and says: -Hello stick! – Hi, Tarzan!
Dry and bad jokes
😄 The fat little mouse cut a cubic meter of water with the saw in the cellar. The blue cow comes and asks him: -Get out! To which the mouse replies: -Yes!
😄 – How can you prevent a camel from passing through the ears of the needle
– You tie it in the tail.
😄 -Why does the squirrel have a tail in its back
-That it doesn’t have a front.
😄 Two cows crocheted mineral water in a cave. “Speaking of milk, it’s time.”
Another pulls out the thermometer and says, “Wednesday!”
Two eagles were sitting on one leg. One was bald and one was about to fall.
Cum – How a horse does when it goes in a straight line
– Troop, troop. “But what does he do when he goes downhill
?”
😄 The bubble, walking on the street, at one point reaches a crowd of people queuing on the sidewalk in front of a store. He asks one of them, “Dude, what’s for sale here?”
The individual says to him: – Toapes and moapes! Puzzled, Bula decides to stand in line to see what those are. After a good hour of pushing and pushing, he finally arrives at the counter in front of the saleswoman, to whom he gives the money and says: – Please give me a kilo of topes too! The saleswoman weighs them and puts them in a bag. Blessed that Bula also managed to get something, he pushes himself through the crowd to get outside. When he got outside, he looked curiously in his bag to see what the toaps looked like and said: -Aoleu! He gave me a handkerchief instead of a handkerchief!
Dry hanging jokes
😄 What beautiful legs. What time do they open
😄 I came closer to you. What are your other two wishes
😄 Someone just blew a wind. Let’s get her out of here.
😄 Let’s have more children than we can feed.
Tip A guy wants to buy a brief, but it would be too expensive for his pocket. He is thinking of buying the material himself and making his own. He goes, takes 4 meters and makes a one meter brief. He goes into the water, but when he comes out, the brief is no longer on him. The girls look at him, and he says, “So he’s beautiful, and I have 3 meters more of him at home!”
