If you are a fan of short jokes and mega jokes, then know that we have prepared a great collection of the best short jokes. Here, the humor is literally 1-3 lines. They are designed in such a way that the end develops quickly. We suggest you browse this page with fine jokes that will cause laughter to tears.
In addition, this collection is perfect for all ages, because you will find both short and dry jokes for adults, as well as short jokes about animals, for children. We will also enjoy short jokes with blondes or any other subject. All you have to do is select the best short joke or even a few jokes and tell them to your friends.
Short jokes for children
↩️ On the news, a first grader said, “It’s better at school than in kindergarten, because you don’t have to sleep.” Kids, YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT!
↩️ – What a nice boy, how old are you
– Two 0.5 each.
↩️ – Son, what happened, I don’t recognize you! – Mom, I’m a boxer, it’s time to get used to my face!
↩️ A child born against the will of his parents continues to give concerts all over the country.
↩️ A child’s laughter is one of the most beautiful sounds you’ve ever heard. Of course, if it’s not 3 in the morning. And you’re home alone. And you don’t have a baby.
↩️ If you are a girl and I call you “smart”, then you are most likely eminent. If you’re a boy and I call you “smart,” then you’re probably in the air.
↩️ “You didn’t really want kids.” – It shows
– Yes, because your children’s names are Denial, Anger, Negotiation, Depression and Acceptance!
↩️ – Give an example of an incomplete sentence. -I love my baby. – Now complete. – I love my baby when he’s gone to grandma’s.
↩️ At kindergarten, at the New Year’s Eve party. Santa Claus: -Hello, kids! Children in the choir: -Hello, Mrs. Maria.
↩️ The ball was still flying… to the principal’s window, but the children were already playing hide-and-seek.
↩️ -Why the elephant painted his nails red
-To hide among the strawberries.
↩️ -What’s the top of the snail
– Run away from home.
↩️ Cats lick so they don’t smell like humans.
Short and good jokes about children
➞ A cunning child paid $ 200 to his stork and became a Swedish citizen.
➞ Don’t be upset if your child woke you up with a scream at 3 in the morning! You’ll be glad to be home right now!
Every student knows the bitter truth – if you don’t study, your father’s belt wears out faster.
Children are a joy. If you do not have children, there will be no one to clean your computer of viruses in your old age.
➞ In addition to the child she gave birth to, almost every woman has a child that her mother-in-law gave birth to!
➞ Undressing a sleeping child is like throwing a bomb. A sudden movement – minus 4 hours of sleep.
➞ – Imagine, we have a boy eating grass! – Maybe it was dill
. – No, it was a boy!
➞ – What a wonderful baby you have! It’s a nice boy or an ugly girl
➞ If you can calmly watch the baby cry, then this is most likely your baby.
➞ – Mom, what can I do?
My husband only gives me the baby to feed. He bathes him alone, walks him, swings him at night, but his son is not yet a month old! I can hardly see my baby! “Don’t scare him, you fool!”
It is necessary to educate children so that when you grow old, they do not educate you, but love you.
➞ – You’re a girl and you swear like that. “You’re a boy, and that’s how you complain.”
My wife was upset when I told her I didn’t want children. But the children were even more upset.
➞ -Why does your child scream like that
What he wants
– He wants to scream!
➞ After the birth of the ninth child, the parents are already sleeping in the light and under the supervision of the older children.
➞ The latest invention in the field of batteries: “Children of the prosecutor”! – Batteries “Children of the prosecutor” – will never be installed.
Short jokes about love
“You’re the best thing I’ve ever done.” – Yeah, your life is really sad…
⇒ – I look like you have sleepy eyes and your whole back is scratched! “Well, I haven’t slept all night – I scratched my back!”
⇒ I’m coming home late at night. It is dark everywhere, quiet, and next to our door, the slippers… I look at them and think: “So that’s how you divided our property, Alinuta.”
⇒ – You had something serious with women
– Yes, once he even got to court.
⇒ – My dear, my joy! You have become weaker after marriage. She’s not feeding you
! – Mom, the wedding was only yesterday.
⇒ A convinced bachelor met a jealous, stingy, greedy madwoman to consolidate her beliefs.
I had a relationship in which I loved. There were relationships where they loved me. But most of all, I enjoyed sleeping until noon.
⇒ A popular superstition: if a guy goes to a meeting with a bouquet of roses, it means they haven’t had sex yet.
⇒ The Kama Sutra was originally a textbook on Greco-Roman fighting, and then someone painted something in it and it started…
⇒ My wife begged for a long time to start calling her mother-in-law my mother. In the end, I agreed. Now I sleep with my wife in different rooms: I don’t want my sister.
⇒ – God, Alina! Will you ever have a headache or not
⇒ With money: give the girl gifts and flowers. No money: give the girl the whole world.
⇒ – How did you meet
– We woke up together!
Funny short jokes
↩️ -When drivers who park in place of those with disabilities are finally fined
! -When for that they can really become disabled.
↩️ I went to a meeting with the mayor, who is running for a second term. I found out that last year the townspeople lived in comfort and luxury! Hell, where was I then
↩️ – Girl, what can I give you:
Champagne Martini
– Suddenly vodka! These alcoholic foreplay annoys me!
↩️ Once, at a dinner, Lieutenant Gheorghe took the oyster fork with the wrong hand. “Fu!” Said the old countess. Since then, various ugly things have been said about the lieutenant.
↩️ I came to work and let’s have tea and surf the internet.
↩️ A child born in a zoo hides his head in the sand, and a child born in prison hides his head in the sand, his body in a swamp and his weapons in the sewers.
↩️ Spring is not coming, because not everyone has lost weight.
↩️ – What to do when a girl suffocates
– I don’t know… for example, a little to get her out.
↩️ In Vaslui, a karate coach applied an injury against a sambo coach, which proves that karate makes you not only stronger, but also smarter.
↩️ More money – more requests. The law of life. More requests – more money. Google Law.
↩️ – An aunt told me on the street that I had a fetish jacket. – And what did you answer
– That he has a mustache like my father’s!
↩️ I can wipe away 95% of your “beauty” with wet wipes.
↩️ According to the horoscope, Bubble was Libra. That’s why the fat women were sad when they climbed on it.
↩️ According to the old custom, the new inhabitants let the cat into the house first. But she closed the doors, changed the locks, and by the fourth year she was pointing the ax at the window.
↩️ – Wallet or life! – It seems to me that this is not the best slogan for the hospital.
↩️ – What do you want to become when you grow up
– When will I do what
↩️ -Idiots! 12 years of my life have been killed, donkeys! – Professor, this is not the best wish for graduates.
↩️ – Briefly describe yourself. -A genius sleeps in me! -Instead, the idiot is awake.
↩️ – Look around, look back! The spirits want to contact you! -You are definitely a priest
↩️ Hunting is a sport! Especially when the cartridges run out and the boar is still alive.
Funny and short jokes
- Every year, the circus of travelers from Oltenia is more and more traveling and less and less circus.
- Traumatologists remind: the sheets must be strictly dosed.
- Summer. Warm. Doctors recommend drinking a lot. I have nothing to object to.
- The son of a plastic surgeon, who damaged his father’s car, woke up the next morning with a third-sized breast.
- The village teacher could not decide who she should marry: the school principal or the tractor driver. On the one hand, a rapid growth of his career, and on the other hand, without a tractor he does not get to school.
- – The traffic police station was closed and a cafe was built in its place. – Yes, it was not profitable I think…
- – I forgot, you smoked or you quit
– “I didn’t start” sounds weird nowadays - I didn’t buy my wife a new coat, I didn’t go to the concert, I didn’t go to the supermarket, I didn’t change the car’s tires. And I earned almost a day’s salary.
- – In Bucharest, the movement of anonymous feminists is gaining weight. – Eat at night or whatever
- When his younger brother was one year old, he already knew the commands “Wait,” “Give me a paw,” and “Voice,” for which he received many applause from his parents, but he deserved it.
- – Wear something forbidden
– Yes, your own opinion. - The nephew called his mother’s grandmother a bad word. Then he received a slap in the face from his father. But not loudly, but as they agreed.
The worst short jokes
➡️ -What color are your guardian angels
– Gray.
➡️ It annoys me when on Sunday of forgiveness my loans and credits are not forgiven.
➡️ The Sunday of forgiveness has passed, the unforgiving month has come.
➡️ Wait, I’ll explain everything to you right now. You see the one in the middle
➡️ According to the Bible, all humans are descendants of Adam and Eve, who had three sons. Take your time and let this thought settle in…
➡️ Something pulls me in the middle of the night in the fridge. These are probably magnets.
➡️ I’m angry that in the spring the snowdrops appear under the snow, but the squares under the belly – no.
➡️ I like it when you tell a person she’s stupid and she laughs, thinking you’re kidding.
➡️ -Hello, Ioane, you have the patronymic Gheorghe
– Dad, you’re fine
➡️ I’m not an alcoholic, but a taster.
➡️ Try to tell everyone the truth one day and in the evening you will end up alone, unemployed, cursed and abandoned by all people, being disabled in intensive care.
➡️ If you work like a horse – sit down, smoke a cigarette. Nicotine inside will kill this animal!
➡️ The story was so scary that already on the fourth page the teacher sent the group for a cigarette break!
➡️ They gave me a towel with an empty man. Her husband liked the towel, but drove the man away.
➡️ To take out the trash, you can take the trash bag to the ladder, call the police and report a suspicious bag.
➡️ After a bottle of brandy, the conversation turns into a leak.
➡️ If it gets quiet in your house, then your child has licked his shoes, strangled the cat, painted the wallpaper and is now drinking from the toilet.
➡️ The blonde complains to her friends: – My husband tells me that I will not drive again until I learn to bury the motorcyclists.
➡️ Judging by the fact that I throw away more garbage bags than I eat every day, I come to the conclusion that I only buy garbage and bags.
Short, bad and funny jokes
- If you attach the headphones to your nostrils and at the same time tighten your ears, then the oral cavity forms a diffuser.
- From the protocol of the victim’s testimony: “It was not even an attempted rape, but a kind of mockery.”
- One day I will become a geneticist and raise mosquitoes that will suck fat.
- Everyone knows how to learn, treat and build on the Internet!
- The pathologist died, but he went to work anyway.
- “My father left you all his condition.” – Yes, if you mean alcohol intoxication.
- My name is Maria Andronache, I teach philosophy. So let’s talk about happiness. Someone tried cocaine
- I still remember the moment when the phrase: “I will teach you to love your country!”, Meant that you will be beaten.
- Today I tried to get my girlfriend back. But since she moved in with me, her parents have stopped answering calls.
- “Why are you laughing
? Let’s laugh together! ”- after these words, the school teacher started to be addicted to drugs. - As you know, many people are buried in formal suits. Therefore, if the zombie apocalypse happens, then it will be a serious event.
- – I’m going to blow up the dance floor. – Abdullahmed, calm down.
- – Mom, I want to eat! – Ah, my help! Well, don’t worry, my mother has already eaten everything. Go to sleep!
- My wife used to teach me how to live in the evening. I bought him a laptop, I connected to the internet. Now teach others!
- I am very interested in how many kilometers I ran with the mouse
- This is a text trap. And you will read it to the end. Because you obey my will. You have a little more. Excellent. You are so easy to control.
- Every time you try to calm me down without using sweets, know that you are only aggravating everything.
- – You follow the news
– No. -Looks like I missed the first two seasons and now I don’t understand anything.
Dry short jokes
Ce – What’s in the tree, it’s yellow and meowing
– A banana!
➞ A gypsy had bought a horse, but he was not interested in the horse.
➞ How many batteries does a mechanical watch have
Answer: It was a tricky question, the mechanical watch has only 3 batteries.
➞ Vasile climbed the tree, but the bicycle was not his.
➞ Almost the driest joke in the world: A BLONDE’S HEAD.
➞ At the door: “Beak, Beak”. Inside: “Who is it
” Answer: “I”. Question: ” I
”
➞ Two donkeys were standing in line… another donkey’s tail.
➞ There were two girls: one was called Ana and the other was called her mother in the house.
➞ Pillar green sheet, cleans the cellar water. Come on, proudly, on the pipe, I’m waiting for you at the tap. MORAL: He values water because you never know.
➞ -Why does the elephant have such a long horn
– Not to start so suddenly.
➞ At the moment 21,000 are thinking about having sex, 5519 are still having sex, 15,480 are still having sex and only one is sitting and reading. Who
? ➞ A balloon says: – No more POC!
Ai – You have two tomatoes. How do you know who the woman is
– That rotten one!
➞ Bubble was riding and suddenly he fell. Why the
horse is over.
Unul One sleeps. Then she wakes up in the morning and wants to get dressed. Once there, he couldn’t fit his clothes. Why
He had fallen asleep!
➞ Which is the driest bank
No more water!
Short jokes / jokes
➞ In 1854 a dead black man was found with 18 bullets in the back. The sheriff makes the statement and says: -MAAAAMĂĂĂĂ, I have never encountered such suicide.
➞ A train stops at Caracal station. A passenger lowers the window and asks a passer-by: -Don’t be upset, Caracal train station
! -Good you are smart!
A dwarf falls into a precipice, the poor man struggles to get out of it, but in vain. A giant comes, takes him in the palm of his hand and asks him: – How many
– 5. The puzzled giant: – What 5
But the dwarf: – How many
➞ A dog was circling a tree. Suddenly it stops. Why he
didn’t hang around anymore!
Ion Ion stands in front of the mirror, dressed in holiday clothes, looks in the mirror and says: Look at him!
➞ An ant walks through the forest and meets a cow, to which she asks: -What are you doing
cow And the cow answers: -And yours is a cow!
➞ -You heard
Fane’s mother-in-law was brutally killed! -Extraordinary! I think he was shocked! -Shocked
No, arrested.
➞ A ladybug to the other: -Ahh, my tail caught fire! -What scared me, I thought you had an orgasm!
➞ Two computers were talking: -How good it is on the net! -Now that shameless person was cheating on me with you!
– I heard voices! – Calm down, they are our voices, when we talk, they are heard!
Short bad jokes
- There were 3 Ferraris on a highway. They were competing at top speed, at one point, one goes to the right.
- Two fish are pulling their ears. Two bald men pull their hair.
- Once upon a time there was a boy and a girl! The boy died and the girl got bored. Question: how loud
- -You have two nuts; You know who the female is
– That broken one. - A man had a horse. And the horse didn’t mind.
- “What does Tarzan say when he sees 1,000 elephants with spectacles coming at him
? Answer: He doesn’t recognize them anymore.” - There were two horses on a meadow – one was white and the other was further on.
- -What color is red
-Green! - The red-haired father and the red-haired mother, the red-haired girl, and the red-haired boy were crossing the street, and the red-haired boy was left behind, at which the red-haired father went to him and said, “Ketchup!”
- – You know what a yellow dot is with a black band around it
– A lemon with a belt. - Q: When you see a smart blonde
A: Yesterday. - Andre: Santa Claus is a young man, he has an earring in his ear. Ugly, destroyed, drugged, quickly put me to bed!
- Q: When are women happy
A: Who cares!
