The statuses on social networks have entered firmly and have consolidated in our lives. In the selection below we have gathered funny love statuses, about women and men and many more. Among the funniest statuses, you will surely find those models that will complete your Facebook page. Usually, these texts reflect a person’s mood, dreams, desires, feelings, and experiences, and what he or she is doing at a given time.
Funny short statuses
I’m not lazy! I’m the king of the couch!
🔖 Winter is leaving… And under the snow I found a piece of shit, even though I’m looking for a snowdrop…
🔖 I’m a fighter for you!
Everyone talks about the soul, but they still look at the bottom.
🔖 I’m tired of constantly getting tired of my fatigue.
🔖 The main thing in life is not to lose people with whom you have the same species of beetles in your head.
🔖 I’m so good at sleeping that I can do it with my eyes closed.
🔖 My mother loves me and I don’t care about anything!
🔖 This state cannot be read! The solution: write to me.
🔖 The alarm clock is driving you crazy anyway: when it rang, and when it didn’t ring
🔖 Touch a boxer’s girlfriend and you’ll be a mystery to the doctor!
🔖 I live across from the cemetery, if you show up, we’ll be neighbors!
🔖 As my grandfather used to say: – “I’m your grandfather!”
🔖 I’m busy, go to bed!
🔖 Today I am irresistible, smart and brave. Because I ate a lot of liqueur candy.
🔖 Loading status…
🔖 Today, in the mirror, they showed a horror.
🔖 I’m sorry for the messages I sent you yesterday, my phone was drunk.
🔖 You look at this status too
🔖 It’s great when you and your wife have a lot in common. But this is becoming a big issue in divorce.
🔖 Spiders don’t fly and that’s great!
🔖 The roof works, and I follow it.
🔖 Don’t send me to hell – it’s not their fault!
🔖 The sun, the air, indifference strengthen the body!
🔖 My Sunday was perfect until I realized it was Monday.
🔖 Life sucks, but I’m shoveling.
🔖 The best ideas come to my toilet, but I wash them with water.
🔖 Quiet, peaceful and loving, I endure everyone’s brains!
🔖 I am looking for a pessimist in order to borrow money from him.
🔖 Don’t be afraid to jump over your head. That’s how Mario made his career.
🔖 I miss your pies… Well, and the soup…
🔖 Accept me as I am! You won’t make me worse, but I can’t get any better.
🔖 School is like pregnancy: it lasts 9 months, but you start to feel bad from 2 weeks.
Funny life statuses
😄 A new set of promises will be developed to support Romanian business. They already have a whole bag of packages.
Remember when the SMS was delivered to the apartments for a signature
😄 Words are like money. When there are many, they depreciate quickly.
😄 Why product chemistry is cheap, but pharmacy chemistry is expensive
😄 After the plane lands, many start clapping, but you have to admit that this is kind of boring and worn out. I suggest an alternative: one of the passengers says, “What can we say to the god of death
? Let someone now try to tell me that China can’t do anything
about it.” and now the parents are afraid of them.
😄 The elevator to success is temporarily defective, please follow the steps.
😄 And again, instead of “I want”, you have to say “I love you”. Damn parents!
😄 Going to the grocery store with a shopping list is not interesting. It’s cool to go to the jewelry store with a shopping list. Take out the list, look at a window, reread the list, look at another window, wonder if you need a bag…
😄 My wife says I’m talking in my sleep. Strange that no one complains about this at work.
😄 When I lose the gift of speech, the “uncensored” gift appears.
It’s time not to change your status, but something in life.
😄 After staying with my grandmother for a week, I decided that it would be nice to post a status about overweight minors.
😄 Keep a diet, give up alcohol, stop eating at night. And in 2 weeks you will lose 14 days.
The world has become Las Vegas. Nobody works. Everyone loses money, drinks at any time of the day. And no one knows what day of the week it is.
😄 I am already at that age when I can say “I am no longer that age”.
”And the whole choir salon“ Not today! ”
😄 If he spits in your back, then you are ahead.
People get angry when you say smart things and are accused of alcoholism.
😄 God, give me patience IMMEDIATELY!
I would never have thought if it weren’t for the brain.
😄 I liked summer, but then I realized that summer can be any time of the year, if it’s money. Now I love money.
A few nice words gathered in funny short statuses allow you to share your mood with the people on your virtual friends list.
If you have a sense of humor and want to surprise your friends and cheer them up, emphasizing creativity and originality, then our selection of funny life statuses will help!
This paragraph is dedicated to funny love statuses. Their significance is to convey your emotional state to the current or potential half.
Funny love statuses
🖤 The subscriber is waiting for common sense. The rate for unlimited happiness is over. Please fill the account with broken hearts and hurt self-esteem of other subscribers.
🖤 If you love and the guy laughs, spit in his face, let him suffocate!
🖤 I sent her an SMS: “I don’t care about your plans, in 5 years I’ll marry you!” Her answer: “I don’t care about your plans! You will marry me in a year! ”
🖤 Sometimes you see a person and you feel – this is the one you have been looking for all your life. But don’t do anything and keep going for bread.
🖤 He confesses his love so boldly that it is obvious that he has experience.
🖤 Only hiccups, death or a neighbor can be at the wrong time. But not love.
🖤 If you have breathed on a girl and her eyes have blurred, then she is cold to you.
🖤 I will love you with a cement effect! I will fill you with my love from head to toe and in time it will grow even stronger! It remains for me to find YOU.
🖤 I first fell in love at 17, the second at 18, the third at 19:30.
🖤 When love enters the door, the brain jumps out the window.
🖤 I will love you both for good and for bad… until the wedding!
🖤 I thought he was the one… Then I realized I just liked to think.
I wanted to call him, but I realized that the subscriber is temporary… unworthy!
I tried to rekindle my feelings, but my heart froze.
🖤 If the girl has given you the key to your heart, do not rush to rejoice, tomorrow she can change the lock.
🖤 -Hug me how much you love me! -To strangle you or what
🖤 They meet on Facebook, communicate on WhatsApp and love each other on Instagram.
🖤 The man must be loved like a cat: caressed, pampered, fed and be happy that he has come home.
🖤 It seems to me that nowadays even love is made in China.
Love – the soul is in a psychiatric hospital, the body is in bed, the heart is on medical leave, and the brain… the brain is generally in a state of shock.
Funny statuses for Facebook
In our selection you will find funny statuses for Facebook for every taste. They will decorate your profile and amuse your friends. Remember that status is the most ideal way to express your emotions and feelings.
🖤 Nothing limits your actions as much as the phrase “do what you want”.
🖤 Popular wisdom says – being online does not mean wanting to answer.
🖤 If someone hits your right cheek, then replace it with your left… then go under the elbow – and from the bottom to the jaw.
🖤 Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and think – oh, it’s midnight.
In our time, parents put the guilty children in a corner where the wi-fi caught the worst.
🖤 As a husband, I want to find a person with a similar sense of humor. I can already imagine how at 9 pm we laugh as we both forgot to take the children from kindergarten.
“It gives me an indescribable delight. And if you add “How do you do it”
? Everything will come true, you just have to get sick.
This status is especially for those who are now on Facebook and cooking something on the stove for the second time…
🖤 I walk with my eyes closed and a smile to my ears, to meet the future happiness, after a field of rakes.
🖤 When my stomach hurts, I imagine butterflies stabbing him.
🖤 Why pants, which are best for relaxing on the couch, are called “training”
🖤 My hatred for some people can not be fully expressed in words and therefore I prepared a special dance on this occasion.
🖤 On Maundy Thursday, clear your browser history.
🖤 Collect 10 Coca-Cola lids, 15 packs of cigarettes, chocolate packaging, empty plastic cups and generally… clean the house!
🖤 The great and powerful Romanian language is hard to hold on to!
I love the word “Hello”. In combination with the phrase “How are you”
🖤 Mutual politeness is when you start typing on Messenger, you see that your interlocutor is typing, you delete your text to read the interlocutor, and he does the same.
Funny new statuses too
The statuses have two purposes. The first is to let the whole world know about you, and the second is to give you positive emotions, fun, and the opportunity to share it with others. In this sense, such funny and new statuses have been selected:
↩️ The advice of an experienced tourist: when you meet a girl on the beach, don’t forget: the stronger her tan, the closer the end of the vacation is!
↩️ If I got a dollar every time I was a suspect… I would be interested in who all these people are and what I pay for.
↩️ According to popular belief, the first person to enter a new home is a man. Where it stops, put a sofa, a table and a TV.
↩️ Men, remember: movement is life, careless movement is new life.
↩️ It looks like my printer is grinding wood and making paper.
↩️ People are a kind of irregular daisies – I love them, I don’t love them.
↩️ The woman at thirty is the most dangerous! She is just as young and beautiful, but she is no longer a fool.
↩️ A woman does not think, she plots.
↩️ The very complex formula for calculating pensions has been simplified – by multiplying by zero.
↩️ Women’s logic is a complete test of the male psyche!
↩️ Save me, God, from the teacher’s face, tests and low grades. And don’t give us homework. That’s all. Amen.
↩️ If you go home to a girl to drink tea, buy a strainer so that the tea leaves do not fall into the cup.
↩️ I don’t understand why a 40 liter barrel of water is too heavy, and a 50 kg girl is a fluff
↩️ I read that the most talented people are lazy. So I put my doubts aside, I’m a talented man!
↩️ Better to be smart and sometimes blunt than to be stupid and smart.
↩️ The diaries are kept only by decent girls. Indecent girls just don’t have time for that.
↩️ I once befriended a stone, and it fell into the river and drowned. Too bad I got attached to her.
↩️ Saying “I love you” is difficult, saying “I’m sorry” is even more difficult. Saying “magalantiderbats” is generally a blow!
Funny statuses about friendship
You’ll find the coolest friendship status below. Read them and laugh with your friends!
. Sure, but you should always have condoms with you.
Funny statuses in English
We also offer funny statuses in English, suitable for all those who want to have fun.
🌎 The further a society drifts from the truth, the more it will hate those who speak it…
🌎 Some of you never rooted for Godzilla and it shows.
🌎 I do all my own stunts but not intentionally.
🌎 I had a lazy eye as a child and now the rest of my body has caught up.
🌎 My gardening skills improved since the quarantine. I planted myself on the sofa in April and have grown bigger ever since…
🌎 Hell, yes, I want to apply for your store credit card. Let’s go through the entire process now while the shoppers in line behind me fantasize about my brutal murder.
🌎 Some people shouldn’t be informed when this quarantine is over.
🌎 Never in my wildest dreams have I imagined myself entering a bank, wearing a mask, and asking for money.
🌎 If you like to fall asleep in bed but wake up on the floor, owning satin sheets might be for you.
🌎 Due to all that’s happened so far this year, I have no choice but to deduct 2 stars from my original TripAdvisor review of Earth.
🌎 I applied for a job at Bed Bath & Beyond. They put me in the Beyond department.
🌎 No, things are not getting worse. They are just getting more obvious.
🌎 Amazon has been approved for drone delivery. We now have skeet shooting with prizes.
🌎 Anyone else rip their mask off when they get in to the car like they’ve just finished a disappointing surgery on Grey’s Anatomy.
🌎 My toddler held my hand all the way to the bathroom, gave me a kiss when I sat down, then stole my toilet paper roll and ran out of the bathroom laughing in case you were wondering what it’s like to be a parent.
🌎 I just spilled my protein shake all over myself and all I’m saying is a donut would never do this to me.
🌎 I gave up watching X-Files after realizing Mulder was NOT actually his own alien-abducted sister who was returned as a boy and was suppressing the memory.
🌎 A good Scotch should taste like how a haunted 17th century wardrobe smells.
