There are such ridiculous jokes that are incomprehensible to everyone, but that doesn’t make them any less interesting. On the contrary, most mischievous jokes are instantly understood by very careful people.
In this selection you will find the coolest deocheate, short and long jokes. We really hope you enjoy them! Have only smiles and good mood!
The coolest jokes
Evil jokes, told by a woman or a man in a group of friends or in a family circle, will always be considered strange. However, for those who are tired of the humor-template, we have prepared a list of bad jokes with Ion and Maria, with Bula, with blondes and many other topics typical of Romanian jokes.
↩️ – Why do you need an umbrella
– And if it rains
– The first time I see a person who is afraid of rain inside. – But I’m not afraid. I just have an umbrella.
↩️ Any forest can become magical if you eat all the mushrooms and berries that have been harvested at random.
↩️ – Tell me, you’re brainwashed
– I mean
This is part of me, I don’t have to be friends with him. It sounds like saying “you’re friends with your finger
” or “you’re friends with your foot
.” It’s like waking up in the morning and saying, “Hi, brain, how did you sleep
? What are we going to eat
?” You are not a friend and you are not. Don’t worry.
↩️ – What’s your name
– Ion. – What kind of Ion
– Like any Ion.
↩️ I tried to kill the spider with my hair spray. The spider is still alive, but you have to see her hairstyle!
↩️ – A basket fell on my head. – And what was in it
– Nothing. – But in the basket
↩️ The license was taken out of the liquor store and she was acquitted.
↩️ A wet black man went to a bar and asked for a dry white wine.
↩️ In the Amsterdam zoo, a lion panted at a visitor and died of an overdose.
↩️ Stress Relief Method: Imagine you are near a river. It’s cold mountain air here, you hear the birds singing. No one is around, only you know about this secret place. You’ve completely disappeared from a crazy place called the “world.” The soothing sounds of the waterfall fill your calming soul. Water is more transparent than tears. You can easily see the face of the person you are holding underwater.
↩️ – You’re worried
– Yes. – First time
– No, I’ve been worried before.
↩️ A man with a megaphone sits on the dock of the boat station and repeats monotonously: – Boat number nine! Your time is up. Come back! The boy appears, “Uncle, you only have seven boats at the station.” From where the ninth
Man repeated monotonously into the megaphone again: – Boat number six, what happened to you
↩️ -Something is happening in your life right now
– Yes. – What
– I have cooked pasta. – But seriously
– Do you think it makes sense to lie about pasta
↩️ Your mother-in-law and tax inspector are in a burning house. You only have one chance to save one of them. What to choose: to go to dinner or to go to the movies
↩️ Due to a strong blow, the tribune with fans flew in an unknown direction.
↩️ In the subway: – Get out
– I
‘m going!
↩️ – In what year were you born
– In 1987. – Why
↩️ People of short stature later than others find out that it started to rain.
↩️ It’s normal to ask a smoker for a cigarette on the street, but if someone eats chocolate and asks for a piece, you look like a psychopath. as
↩️ Inspector on the market in Bucharest: – Do you have documents for this fish
– Why do you need
the Death Certificate
↩️ Subway announcement: “If you find suspicious objects, make a suspicious face!”.
↩️ The inhabitants of house number 8 took off together with the old neighbor, Mrs. Maria, in Amsterdam, making a tour of the city. Let her see what drug addicts and real prostitutes really look like.
↩️ Bubble went to the bear with his bare hands. And he returned without.
↩️ – Why are you wearing a hat
– Because the hat can’t go alone.
↩️ Two people meet in the next world. The first one asks, “How did you get here
?” “I fell from a fourteen-story building.” But you
– You have to look where you fall!
↩️ A guy says to a friend: – A very strange thing happened to me today. – What
– A dog pissed on my wheel! – And what’s so weird here
– At least the fact that at that time I had a speed of 130.
↩️ – Describe yourself. – Brunette. – Good. But the eyes
– There is.
↩️ My book will be out soon. Although I ate it in vain.
↩️ – Yes John, you know your classmate, Maria, is a lesbian
– I didn’t know. How did you know?
– Well, I told her to have sex and she refused!
↩️ One day Bubble comes to school with red eyes. The teacher asks him: What happened to you, Bubble, from your eyes
? . “But right,” the teacher asks. “Well, if I saw it didn’t suit him, I put his skirt back on.”
↩️ Bubble in the first grade, at the lesson for learning the letter “O”. The teacher asks: – Children, who knows how to tell me a sentence that starts with the letter “O”, learned today
Nobody, just Bubble with your hand up. Teacher: -Tell us, Bubble. Bubble: – Pasta sheep. Teacher: -Bravo, Bubble! Now that Bula has given you an example, please, children, tell me each one a sentence that starts with the letter “O”. Nobody, just Bubble with your hand up. Teacher: – All right, Bubble, tell us. Bubble: – Pasta sheep. Teacher: -Okay, Bubble, but you told us this sentence once before! Bubble:
– Yes, but this is another sheep.
↩️ A drunk and a blonde meet on the street. The drunkard says, “You fool!” And the blonde says: -Drunk! To which the drunkard says: -Yes, but I’ll get over it tomorrow!
New jokes
And if some nonsense jokes are underestimated in our country, we decided to offer you an alternative of new nonsense jokes, which you will surely remember at every meeting with close friends for a nonconformist humor. This includes both jokes with blonde hair and jokes on many other topics.
🔔 There were 3 blondes on an island. The first one prays to God: -God, Lord, make me 10 times smarter so I can make a boat so I can get out of here! -Okay, I felt sorry for him! And the blonde left. Second: -God, God, make me 50 times smarter so I can make a ship, so I can get out of here! -Okay, I felt sorry for him! And the blonde left. Third: -God, God, make me 100 times smarter so I can make a boat, so I can get out of here! -I’d better make you a man! -Does not matter! -Okay, I felt sorry for him! -Aaa, look at the bridge!
🔔 Ion meets Maria on the street, whom he had not seen for a long time. – Hi, John! How are you
-Thanks for the question, Maria. What to do, I got married. – No, that’s good! “It’s not good I took an old woman.” – No, that’s bad! – Yes, but the old woman had a house. – No, that’s good! – Yes, but the house burned down. – No, that’s bad! – Yes, but not so bad. – Why
– The old woman and the house burned down! – No, that’s good.
🔔 Ion and Maria visiting the zoo see at one point the lion’s cage open. He looks to the left, looks to the right, and finally sees the caretaker. – Sir, where’s the lion
? – The lioness. Curious Maria asks: -And how long does the lioness stay
– About an hour. “Listen, John, wait an hour!” – Yes, do Maria, I’m not a lion. They walk around and see the tiger’s cage open. The same story, in which Maria asks the caretaker: – And how long does the tiger stay there?
– Two hours. -Listen to them, John, 2 hours! – Yes, do Maria, I’m not a tiger. Finally, they reach the deer and find out from the caretaker that he is only 5 minutes away. Then Ion says: -Look, Maria, it’s 5 minutes! To which Maria answers: -Okay, Ioane, but also what horns she has!
🔔 Two clairvoyants meet, one of them asks the other: – Hi, how are you
? 🔔 During today’s walk, the bruises under the eyes recorded over 2000 views.
A greedy caterpillar got lost in the apple tree and bit its bottom.
A cow climbs a tree. Another asks, “Cow, why did you climb the tree
?” “I want to eat an apple.” – You’re stupid
! This is a birch! “You alone are stupid!” I’m with you.
“Your ticket, please.” – My ticket. – Your ticket. – My ticket. – You’re sick
– What are you, doctor
– Your ticket! – My ticket. – Why repeat everything
You don’t know other words
– I know: vacuum cleaner. – I’m the controller! – I’m a plumber too. “Your minds are at home
!” – You want to visit them
– Your ticket! – My ticket. – You’re a bunny
– You’re a wolf
– Your ticket! -For what
-To see him. – Well, buy it and look. – Your ticket! – Here’s my stop.
🔔 Lawyer: Imagine a man competing in a golf competition. At one point, the ball flew into the bushes. Entering there, he sees a frog by the ball. She says in a human voice: – Take me with you, put me in your pocket and you will win the competition! Said and done. During the game, the frog tells him how and where to beat, and he wins. After that, she asked him to rent a suite at the hotel, buy champagne with caviar, and kiss her. He rented a room, ordered champagne, caviar, and kissed the frog. The lightning struck and the frog turned into a beautiful 14-year-old blonde, with a gorgeous figure and long legs! So, gentlemen of the jury, this underage girl was in my client’s room.
🔔 – I wonder why this cow doesn’t have horns
– Probably because it’s a horse.
Honey, the jewelry store was closed and I bought you some yogurt.
🔔 Pensioner Maria realized that she went too far with the fertilizer only after the pumpkin burned her house.
🔔 The mouse returns from a business trip, and the owner hangs himself in the fridge.
