Laughter helps us get rid of stress or anxiety, reminding us how important it is to maintain a positive attitude. The smile, in addition to being a universal greeting, is a manifestation of the happiness we all experience every day. Thus, we have prepared a collection of funny quotes that will make you feel good and remind you of the humor that we should never forget.
Funny quotes about women
Men and women generally react differently to the events of everyday life. However, they are always a source of humor and joy, as they bring happiness with them everywhere.
1. Why women always die later than men
Because, in general, women are late.
2. There are only 3 things women need in life: food, water and compliments. – Frank Lloyd Wright
3. The man was created before the woman to be able to say a few words without being interrupted by anyone. – Jules Renard
4. When a woman does not speak, do not interrupt for anything in the world. – Enriyeu Castalda
5. The woman is like a sachet of tea: you don’t know how strong she is until you see her boil. Eleanor Roosevelt
6. You don’t really know a woman until you meet her in court. – Norman Mailer
7. Intuition is a quality of a woman that helps her contradict her husband before he can open his mouth.
8. Men discovered fire, but women discovered how to play with it. – Sarah Jessica Parker
9. At my house, I’m the boss. My wife is the only one who makes the decisions.
10. Every married man knows why a typhoon can only bear the name of a woman. – Art Buchwald
No matter how hard or stressful a day may be, we must never forget to smile. No problem is impossible to solve, so we should try to stay calm and enjoy every funny moment we have.
11. My grandfather had a saying: a pen is easier to hold in your hand than a shovel.
12. Experience is a wonderful thing. It allows you to recognize a mistake when you repeat it.
13. The most important thing is not to know. The most important thing is to have the phone of someone who knows.
14. Stupidity has the talent to be insistent. – Albert Camus
15. He who does not work does not make mistakes, and he who does not make mistakes deserves to be promoted.
16. I’m so smart that sometimes I don’t understand what I’m saying. – Oscar Wilde
17. Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday. – Don Marquis
18. Statistics are like swimsuits: they show you what everyone knows and hide exactly what you wanted to know. – Georges Vedel
19. Consciousness is a mother-in-law whose visit never ends. – Henry Louis Mencken
Comic quotes about love
Love, such an important part of everyone’s life, is not exempt from a multitude of funny situations. The love between parents and children or husbands and wives is by far one of the funniest sources of funny moments.
20. You must get married. If you have a good wife, you will be happy. If you do not have a good wife, you will become a philosopher. – Socrates
21. When you court a pretty girl, an hour seems like a second. When you sit on something hot for a second it seems like an hour. That is relativity. – Albert Einstein
22. A man does not know what happiness is until he marries. But then it’s too late. – Frank Sinatra
23. Marriage is the death of passion – you suddenly wake up in bed with a relative.
24. Put your palm on a hot plate for a few moments and it will seem like an eternity. Stay with a pretty girl for an hour and it will feel like you’ve only been there for a few moments. That is the theory of relativity. – Albert Einstein
25. Men marry women in the hope that they will never change. Women marry men in the hope that they will change at some point. Invariably, both men and women are disappointed. – Albert Einstein
26. It is not the fact that he will be related to a woman that terrifies a man who is thinking of marriage, but the tragedy of being separated from the others. – Helen Rowland
27. I told my wife that a husband is like an expensive wine, it gets better over time. The next day he locked me in the basement.
Short funny quotes
Often, funny words are said in a few words. The following selection of quotes contains exactly these wise and funny words that will make you feel good.
28. A wise man maketh a sleigh in the summer, and a fire in the winter.
29. Love is a flower that becomes fruit through marriage. – Finnish proverbs
30. Any good thing in life is illegal, immoral or fattening.
31. Run away from temptation… but slowly, so that he can reach you.
32. He who smiles when things go wrong has already thought of whom to blame.
33. To have a clear conscience means to have a bad memory.
34. I would like to have the courage not to tip. – Paul Lynde
35. Fools die. But stupidity is immortal. – Ion Luca Caragiale
36. The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits. – Albert Einstein
Funny motivational quotes
Although said in a funny way, the following quotes include the wisdom and motivation we all need to achieve our goals and enjoy every moment.
37. I think I’ve discovered the secret of life – you have to stay around until you get used to it. – Charles M. Schulz
38. I did not fail. I just discovered 10,000 ideas that don’t work. – Thomas Eddison
39. Living on Earth can be expensive, but it includes a free trip around the Sun every year. – Ashleigh Brilliant
40. Every morning I look in Forbes at the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I’m going to work. – Robert Orben
41. It is incredibly difficult to find a suitable job if your dream is to never work again.
42. Man’s most unfaithful mistress is Hope. She cheats on you every day and yet, you live with her all your life.
43. I intend to live forever. So far, so good. – Steven Wright
44. I find television very educational. Every time someone turns on the TV, I go to the other room and read a book. – Groucho Marx