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Eighteen. That’s because ET went home in a UFO and the FBI went after him.
Everything will be fine, stay calm. There will always be a light at the end of any tunnel. I’m here for you and I pray it’s the train.
I know you’re sad, you miss me, but I feel better when I think of you and text you. I know I’m destroying you.
It is important to find a beautiful girl, a girl who is good and a girl who loves you for what you are! It is also important that these three girls never meet!
Last night I felt empty and alone. I felt empty and sad, but in the end I went to bed anyway. You somehow saw my pajamas
Please do me a favor: take a picture and send it to me. I play cards and I miss the Joker!
The scent is cool, but you really have to get used to it
I think it’s time to tell you what people say behind your back: MISTO FUND!
From ROMANIAN POLICE: Three dangerous and ugly orangutans escaped from the Zoo. One was caught watching TV, another was playing football, and the third was reading this text message.
You think I’m cute, I think you’re cute. You think I’m kind, I think you’re kind. You think I’m trustworthy, I think you’re trustworthy. You think I’m smart, I think you’re right.
I have to tell you something: I had a wet dream with you. I did it when I saw you slip and fall.
You know what good girls and dinosaurs look like.
Both species have long since disappeared!
Don’t drink water. Pisces have sex in it!
The police are after an intelligent, funny and sexy person! You have no reason to fear for your safety, but where can I hide?
No one is fat enough to run except your ass.
I am very worried. I found out that an unidentified corpse was found, very ugly, small in height and with a small whore. He shook me. Please tell me you’re alive!
I read in the newspaper that when we send text messages, cancer can occur. That’s why I gave up reading newspapers.
Your provider also changed the rates charged. The rate is directly proportional to the size of your genitals: the smaller it is, the less you pay. From now on, you can talk for free!
As I write this SMS to you, 10 million people are having sex, two million are arguing, 30 million are having fun at a party and the sad girl is reading this SMS!
I used to be sick all day, so I’m writing you this text from the grave!
Come to me to eat pizza together and then have sex. You don’t want
to. Why don’t you eat pizza like that?
Guess how you can keep an idiot in suspense
……. . . ……… I’ll tell you later!
I asked for happiness, I was given friends, I asked for beauty, I was given the sky, I asked for a whore, I was given your phone number!
Statistics show that an idiot is reading an SMS right now!
I thought better of it and now I know what I miss the most! The answer is: your absence!
When I looked at what was in your mouth, I came to the conclusion that the only person who could make you smile is the dentist!
Honey, you have my word of honor, I was really paying attention to what you just told me. Both the blanket and the pillow were just decorative objects.
Here’s your boss: “You’re allowed to stay on Facebook during business hours, but make sure you don’t miss out on job postings!”
This way you keep the hippopotamus busy for over 10 seconds. A tip: understand something, read without animals!
If someone today praises you for your beauty, intelligence, style and attitude, give it a shot! How dare he fool you on April 1st!
Your eyes are like the stars in the sky: far and wide.
My mother always scolds me for spending too much time at the Zoo and watching monkeys all day. I told him I didn’t look at you all the time, but he didn’t believe me in any way!
A man can kiss his wife when he leaves. A flower can kiss a butterfly. Wine can kiss a glass of ice cream. But you, my friend, can kiss my ass!
I think you have to give up your sex life. Which side will you give up, the one where you talk about sex, or the one where you think you’re having sex
I want oral sex, you want normal sex. Come to me, let’s see who wins!
I have to tell you: I’m a murderer, I’m killing people for money. But because you’re my friend, I’m killing you for free.
I will miss you, not the other, but that’s the only way to go.
I will be with you, for better or for worse, until the lines of the battery separate us!
I don’t know what your phone has! When I call you, I hear a voice: “The subscriber you called is a monkey, please call the Zoo.”
Hi, your cell phone is talking! I ask you to take it out of my pocket, I really can’t breathe anymore, the smell ends me. You could live next to a corpse wrapped in panties
Know that I would give up sex, but I’m not letting you give up so easily.
In the beginning, God created the earth, then he created the forests. God also created you, but He also makes mistakes!
When I was a dog and you, a flower, I walked around the area and took a shower!
In case of fire, read this SMS! . I SAID IN THE EVENT OF FIRE, IDIOTS!
How much intelligence, how much beauty, how much personal charm! That’s it, I’ve talked a lot about myself! And tell me, what else have you done?
Did you know that when Americans talk, they say, “Excuse me,” the British say, “I’m sorry,” and the Chinese say, “Forgive me
. “
Know that you are never too blonde to believe what I tell you!
I love you more when you’re not around.
I feel you surround me, you embrace me, playing with my hair. I feel like I can’t get rid of you anymore… I really can’t go out because of a bad wind!
Young handsome and manly, intelligent and with a sense of humor, athletic and with a lot of money, with three cars and five villas. I’m not looking for anything, I’m bragging too!
When I talk dirty to you, it costs me a process of sexual harassment, but when you talk dirty to me, it costs me 20 lei per hour!
When you wake up and see no one around you, come to me, I’ll be there to take your hand and take you to the ophthalmologist.
In the middle of the night, I look at the moon… it’s beautiful! Then I look at you and I start to think I’m better off looking at the moon again!
Your birth certificate is a letter of complaint against the condom factory.
I think that one day you will lose your money, your teeth and your hair. But you can’t lose what you don’t have: intelligence!
I think I have serious eye problems. I really don’t see myself discussing anything with your person!
Last night, I had a terrible headache, so I went to the doctor. He told me to get over the pain, to text a crazy person. Tell me who I know besides you
These fleshy and sensual lips are yours. I found them between my lips!
I remembered you telling me I was going a few miles a day. How far have you come now?
I would come to see you right away, but I don’t have any saints to pay for the entrance ticket to the zoo!
These are your eyes
I found between my breasts!
I would like to be with you in a beautiful restaurant, to have a romantic dinner, by candlelight and to whisper in your ear the two magic words: pay the bill!
I’ve heard that rain makes everything in the world look beautiful, but I don’t understand why it doesn’t rain on you too.
Each of us has a hidden fear, but sooner or later we will have to deal with this terrible fear. So don’t be afraid: go and take a shower.
At the moment, 60% of Romanians have sex, 20% watch TV, 19% drink coffee and a peasant is holding the phone in his hand.
My feelings for you are like the sea. Romantic and wild
! Neah, I’m vomiting!
Howdy! I wanted to tell you that without stupidity, there can be no wisdom and without ugliness, there can be no beauty. After all, it looks like the world needs you.
I’m sure I’ve been missing you since I left you. Signed: your brain!
Special people like you will receive special text messages like this: “Stupid things aren’t done, they’re ready.”
If I were to make a dictionary: cute = a = you; sweet = you; intelligent / intelligent = you; beautiful = you; liar / I lie = I.
You know why, every time I come back from church, I become an incurable romantic, I take you in my arms and I do everything for you.
Because the priest told me I had to carry my cross.
Know that women are like the Internet. All the good and interesting areas are already taken.
You are accused of violating law no. 876/2012: disturbing the public peace with your beauty. You are sentenced to three days in custody in my bedroom.
I live a hard and unbearable life. Every time people tell me I’m smart and beautiful, caring and sociable, I feel hurt because you’re nothing of who I am.
Hi, this is a virus entering your brain. NO BRAIN FOUND!
When you are alone, I will follow you. When you want to cry, I’ll be your shoulder. When you look for a hug, I’ll be your pillow. When you want to be happy, I will have a bad smile. When you need money, you will wait for the salary.
I don’t mind, I’m quite bothered writing this SMS.
What you want, I don’t want, what I want, you don’t want… But what we both want, we can do!
One study found that all women are addicted to three animals from birth: the male who becomes a bull in bed, the fox scarf in the closet, and the ox that pays for her to have it all.
If you save this message, it means I’m cute. If you edit this SMS, I’m still cute. If you pass it on, you tell the others that I’m cute. And if you delete it, you’re jealous that I’m cute!
If you are beautiful and intelligent, tall and thin, with sensual and sexy lips, then you must die!
If a few centuries ago, Dracula used to drink the blood of a virgin, today he is drunk!
It doesn’t matter how deep the ocean is, how high the sky is, how big the river is or how oppressive the distance is, the only thing I want to tell you is that it’s none of your business!
Please turn your phone back! 370HSSV 0773H
I feel like a fulfilled man. You want to know why Because you love me and I… love me too.
Please enjoy all that I wish you well and, of course, these totally innocent lies.
Phone sex: press key 1 for oral, key 2 for normal, key 3 for anal, key 4 for a threesome. For all the cutlery, I called your number!
Your provider is talking to you: I just found out you’re too stupid to use this phone, so please put it on the ground and start jumping on it. Thank you for understanding!
A study shows that all nonsense uses the thumb to read an SMS!
You may not believe me, but I’m an exceptional lover. You want us to bet
A cool girl called me yesterday and told me to go to her, because no one is home. I went and no one was home. See how faithful I am to you
Everything is perfect with you: your lips, your skin, your eyes and your body. You are perfect and lucky that you were born beautiful, not like me, who was born a big liar!
The reasons why dogs are better than women: when you scream at them, they listen to you; they don’t spend all day shopping; any man can own a dog that looks good.
This SMS can be read by a sexy and intelligent person… please try again… again… again… again… again… again…
Researchers believe that stupidity is boundless. Only now have I realized that you are thinking in a circle.
If smoking is still banned here, you better not do me a blow job
I realized you never asked me if I liked having sex with you! The problem is, I’ve come to realize that when you like me, you’re not home!
You know the difference between pleasure and torture
Pleasure is when you think you are doing it and torture is when you do it alone.
Just because you’re so paranoid doesn’t mean I don’t want to kill you!
