Philosophers, writers, politicians have left us, over the years, a large collection not only of beautiful quotes, which we can remember every morning and from which we can be inspired, but also many motivational and funny quotes, noting -and so the subtle sense of humor. This collection contains the funniest quotes on various topics: about work and friendship, about love and coffee.
You can appreciate the humorous and satirical uses of outstanding personalities by posting them as descriptions or statuses on Facebook, for example.
Funny famous quotes
We present a wide selection of funny famous quotes and, at the same time, wise expressions and words, humorous stories of famous people. Here you will find funny quotes about love, only good to tell your half instead of a good night, but also funny quotes about women, men and their relationships.
✅ Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect you to give them back. Oscar Wilde
✅ If a government were in charge of the Sahara Desert, it would have a shortage of sand in five years. Milton Friedman
✅ I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving earlier. Charles Lamb
✅ Some produce happiness wherever they go; others always go. Oscar Wilde
✅ I was not accepted into the chess team because I was too short. Woody Allen
✅ If the toast always falls on the buttered side and the cats always land on their feet, what if you put a buttered slice on the back of a cat and drop it?
The man was created before the woman to be able to say a few words without being interrupted by anyone. Jules Renard
✅ If we didn’t hit our heads on the extremes of life, we wouldn’t see the middle ground. Velok Mahok
✅ I dressed in black because I heard you were dead after me. Horatiu Malaele
✅ When I was a child, I wanted a puppy. But mine were poor. So they bought me an ant. Woody Allen
✅ The world needs more geniuses to have modesty, but there are so few who are like us. Oscar Levant
✅ Women don’t want to hear what you think. Women want to hear what they think. Bill Cosby
Steven Wright
✅ The bank is the place where you will receive money on loan if you prove that you do not need them. Bob Hope
✅ A gresi e omeneste. But it’s even more humane to blame a computer for your mistake. Robert Orben
✅ I didn’t fail. I just discovered 10,000 ideas that don’t work. Thomas Eddison
✅ I wish I had the courage not to tip. Paul Lynde
✅ I usually have two clerks at the bank, except for very busy periods, when there is only one. Rita Ru
✅ Consciousness is a mother-in-law whose visit never ends. Henry Louis Mencken
✅ When I was a child, my parents often moved from house to house, but I found them every time.Woody Allen
✅ I don’t trust camels and anyone else who lasts a week without drinking. Joe E. Lewis
✅ Men want the same thing from their boxers as they do from women: a little support and a little freedom. Jerry Seinfeld
✅ You realize you’re getting older when cake candles cost more than cake. Paul Newman
✅ From an aerodynamic point of view, the bumblebee should not be able to fly. But the bumblebee does not know this and is still flying. Mary Kay Ash
! ” Margaret Smith
✅ Men and women agree on one point: neither one nor the other trusts women. HL Mencken
✅ Every morning I look in Forbes at the list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I’m going to work. Robert Orben
✅ Until a man realizes that his father was right, he has a son who thinks he is wrong. Charles Wadsworth
✅ The one who smiles when things go awry has already thought who to blame. Robert Bloch
✅ A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is a woman who can find such a man. Lana Turner
✅ The scream of a woman who is caught naked is explained by the fear of not looking good enough in this situation. Otto Weininger
✅ If you have enough patience you can move the mountains, but if you have enough intelligence you fly over them, because it’s easier. Boris Vian
✅ If you think no one cares if you are alive or not, try to avoid some of the payments you have to make. Earl Wilson
✅ If a government were in charge of the Sahara Desert, it would have a shortage of sand in five years. Milton Friedman
✅ I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving earlier. Charles Lamb
✅ Some produce happiness wherever they go; others always go. Oscar Wilde
✅ I was not accepted into the chess team because I was too short. Woody Allen
✅ If the toast always falls on the buttered side and the cats always land on their feet, what if you put a buttered slice on the back of a cat and drop it?
The man was created before the woman to be able to say a few words without being interrupted by anyone. Jules Renard
✅ If we didn’t hit our heads on the extremes of life, we wouldn’t see the middle ground. Velok Mahok
✅ I dressed in black because I heard you were dead after me. Horatiu Malaele
✅ When I was a child, I wanted a puppy. But mine were poor. So they bought me an ant. Woody Allen
✅ The world needs more geniuses to have modesty, but there are so few who are like us. Oscar Levant
✅ Women don’t want to hear what you think. Women want to hear what they think. Bill Cosby
Steven Wright
✅ The bank is the place where you will receive money on loan if you prove that you do not need them. Bob Hope
✅ A gresi e omeneste. But it’s even more humane to blame a computer for your mistake. Robert Orben
✅ I didn’t fail. I just discovered 10,000 ideas that don’t work. Thomas Eddison
✅ I wish I had the courage not to tip. Paul Lynde
✅ I usually have two clerks at the bank, except for very busy periods, when there is only one. Rita Ru
✅ Consciousness is a mother-in-law whose visit never ends. Henry Louis Mencken
✅ When I was a child, my parents often moved from house to house, but I found them every time.Woody Allen
✅ I don’t trust camels and anyone else who lasts a week without drinking. Joe E. Lewis
✅ Men want the same thing from their boxers as they do from women: a little support and a little freedom. Jerry Seinfeld
✅ You realize you’re getting older when cake candles cost more than cake. Paul Newman
✅ From an aerodynamic point of view, the bumblebee should not be able to fly. But the bumblebee does not know this and is still flying. Mary Kay Ash
! ” Margaret Smith
✅ Men and women agree on one point: neither one nor the other trusts women. HL Mencken
✅ Every morning I look in Forbes at the list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I’m going to work. Robert Orben
✅ Until a man realizes that his father was right, he has a son who thinks he is wrong. Charles Wadsworth
✅ The one who smiles when things go awry has already thought who to blame. Robert Bloch
✅ A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is a woman who can find such a man. Lana Turner
✅ The scream of a woman who is caught naked is explained by the fear of not looking good enough in this situation. Otto Weininger
✅ If you have enough patience you can move the mountains, but if you have enough intelligence you fly over them, because it’s easier. Boris Vian
✅ If you think no one cares if you are alive or not, try to avoid some of the payments you have to make. Earl Wilson
✅ At my age, I do what Mark Twain did. I take my daily newspaper and look at the obituary page. If I’m not there, I’m doing what I used to do. Partick Moore
✅ The human brain is a wonderful thing. It starts working when you are born and never stops until you have to speak in public. George Jessel
✅ The only time a woman manages to change a man is when she is a baby. Natalie Wood
✅ According to recent research, women say that they feel more comfortable undressing in front of a man than if they do it in front of a woman. This is because women are very critical, while men are just grateful. Robert DeNiro
✅ Here are the scariest words in English: we are from the Government and we have come to help you! Ronald Reagan
✅ The human brain is a wonderful thing. It starts working when you are born and never stops until you have to speak in public. George Jessel
✅ The only time a woman manages to change a man is when she is a baby. Natalie Wood
✅ According to recent research, women say that they feel more comfortable undressing in front of a man than if they do it in front of a woman. This is because women are very critical, while men are just grateful. Robert DeNiro
✅ Here are the scariest words in English: we are from the Government and we have come to help you! Ronald Reagan
- You need to keep fit. My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60 years old. He is 97 years old now, but I have no idea where he is. Ellen DeGeners
- I still watch commercials on detergents that clean blood stains on TV. When you stain your shirt with blood, I don’t think washing it is your first problem. Jerry Seinfeld
- Better a poor horse than no horse at all. Abraham Lincoln
- When you court a pretty girl, an hour seems like a second. When you sit on something hot for a second it seems like an hour. That is relativity. Albert Einstein
- Each of us is a genius, but if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, that fish will think all its life that it is stupid. Albert Einstein
- Americans will always do the right thing after exhausting all other alternatives. Winston Churchill
- Wine is a constant proof that God loves us and that He loves to see us happy. Benjamin Franklin
Funny quotes about love and marriage
The collection of funny quotes about love has always had a very strong effect on people. It served as a source of inspiration and motivation. It changed the world, the fate of people and the vision of love. Here are some funny love quotes in all its manifestations.
🖤 Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. The second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience. Oscar Wilde
🖤 At every party, there are two categories of people: those who want to go home and those who do not want to go home. The problem is that they are usually married to each other. Ann Landers
🖤 Every wedding is the same, but every marriage is different. John Berger
Marriage is not a process of prolonging love, but of mummifying the corpse. PG Wodehouse
🖤 A man in love is not complete until he is married. Then it’s over. Zsa Zsa Gabor
🖤 Marriage is the graveyard of wisdom. Margaret Cavendish
🖤 Women need a reason to have sex. Men only need a place to do it. Billy Crystal
🖤 I didn’t find out what happiness was until I got married. But by then it was too late. Max Kauffman
🖤 Women hope that men will change after marriage; men hope that women will stay the same after marriage. Bettina Arndt
🖤 My girlfriend always laughs while we have sex, no matter what she reads. Steve Jobs
🖤 Bachelors know more about women than married men; otherwise, they would be married too. HL Mencken
🖤 My advice is to get married. If you have a good wife, you will be happy; if not, you will become a philosopher. Socrates
🖤 Swearing eternal love to a woman is as ridiculous as saying that you will always be healthy or always happy. Charles de Montesquieu
🖤 My wife is priceless, but it costs me a hell of a lot. Sacha Guitry
🖤 The love of your life will only want you back when you are involved in another serious relationship. Edward A. Murphy
🖤 Love: Temporary madness that can be healed by marriage. Ambrose Bierce
🖤 When a man steals your wife, the best revenge is to let him keep her. Sacha Guitry
🖤 I’m not really a movie star, I have the same wife I had 28 years ago. Will Rogers
🖤 I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I’ve ever met. Walt Disney
🖤 There is a place where you can touch a woman and make her go crazy with pleasure. Her heart. Melanie Griffith
🖤 When someone tells you about love, it means they love you today. She could run away with your best friend tomorrow. Cassie Kind
🖤 I have a love in every movie of mine: a gun. Arnold Schwarzenegger
🖤 My wife is not able to mature at all. I sit in the tub full of hot water, and she sinks my boats. Anatol Basarab
🖤 Marriage is a mistake that every man should make. George Jessel
🖤 Marriage is our last chance to mature. Joseph Barth
🖤 At every party, there are two categories of people: those who want to go home and those who do not want to go home. The problem is that they are usually married to each other. Ann Landers
🖤 Every wedding is the same, but every marriage is different. John Berger
Marriage is not a process of prolonging love, but of mummifying the corpse. PG Wodehouse
🖤 A man in love is not complete until he is married. Then it’s over. Zsa Zsa Gabor
🖤 Marriage is the graveyard of wisdom. Margaret Cavendish
🖤 Women need a reason to have sex. Men only need a place to do it. Billy Crystal
🖤 I didn’t find out what happiness was until I got married. But by then it was too late. Max Kauffman
🖤 Women hope that men will change after marriage; men hope that women will stay the same after marriage. Bettina Arndt
🖤 My girlfriend always laughs while we have sex, no matter what she reads. Steve Jobs
🖤 Bachelors know more about women than married men; otherwise, they would be married too. HL Mencken
🖤 My advice is to get married. If you have a good wife, you will be happy; if not, you will become a philosopher. Socrates
🖤 Swearing eternal love to a woman is as ridiculous as saying that you will always be healthy or always happy. Charles de Montesquieu
🖤 My wife is priceless, but it costs me a hell of a lot. Sacha Guitry
🖤 The love of your life will only want you back when you are involved in another serious relationship. Edward A. Murphy
🖤 Love: Temporary madness that can be healed by marriage. Ambrose Bierce
🖤 When a man steals your wife, the best revenge is to let him keep her. Sacha Guitry
🖤 I’m not really a movie star, I have the same wife I had 28 years ago. Will Rogers
🖤 I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I’ve ever met. Walt Disney
🖤 There is a place where you can touch a woman and make her go crazy with pleasure. Her heart. Melanie Griffith
🖤 When someone tells you about love, it means they love you today. She could run away with your best friend tomorrow. Cassie Kind
🖤 I have a love in every movie of mine: a gun. Arnold Schwarzenegger
🖤 My wife is not able to mature at all. I sit in the tub full of hot water, and she sinks my boats. Anatol Basarab
🖤 Marriage is a mistake that every man should make. George Jessel
🖤 Marriage is our last chance to mature. Joseph Barth
Funny quotes about life
The aphorisms of adults inspired people to rethink their lives. They helped them through difficult times to cope with doubts and relieve pain, and they also helped them take the first step toward great accomplishments. We present you the most famous funny quotes about life.
➡️ Citizens of Romania. Careful! Whoever behaves badly, disrespectfully, swears, etc., in the next life will also be born in Romania. Anatol Basarab
➡️ The smile is like a windshield wiper: it doesn’t stop the rain, but it allows you to see your way. Jeanne Wasbro
➡️ I find TV very educational. Every time someone turns it on, I go to the other room and read a book. Groucho Ma
➡️ People who don’t know me think I’m shy. People who know me wish they were shy. Mark Twain
➡️ Planning. Beat your head with the best way to get a random result. Ambrose Bierce
➡️ I don’t care what is written about me as long as it’s not true.Catherine Hepburn
➡️ I’m tired of all the nonsense about the fact that beauty is only superficial. It is quite deep and beautiful. What would you like – an adorable pancreas
➡️ I always wanted to be someone, but now I realize I should have been more precise. Lily Tomlin
➡️ I’ve always thought it’s good to learn from my own mistakes, so I’ve always been careful to do enough. Silviu O.
➡️ If my movies make another person feel bad, then I feel like I’ve done my job. Woody Allen
➡️ Recession is when your neighbor loses his job. Depression is when you lose your job. Chris Rock
As you get older, three things happen to you. The first thing: it leaves your memory. I can’t remember the other two. Norman Wisdom
➡️ Give a man some fire and one day it will be hot. Give a man fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life. Terry Pratchet
➡️ Laughing at the mistakes you make could prolong your life. If you laugh at someone else’s mistakes, you might shorten it. Cullen Hightower
➡️ Teamwork involves first and foremost wasting half your time explaining to others why they are wrong. George Wolinski
➡️ I’m kind of paranoid in the opposite direction. I suspect those around me are plotting for my happiness. JD Salinger
➡️ It took me 15 years to discover that I had no talent for writing, but I couldn’t give up later because at that time I was too famous. Robert Benchley
➡️ I was born with too few middle fingers for the world I live in. Marilyn Manson
➡️ Of all the wild beasts, the most dangerous is the gossip, and among the domestic ones is the flatterer. Diogenes of Sinope
➡️ Only two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity. And I’m not sure about the universe. Albert Einstein
➡️ I asked God to give me a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bicycle and asked him to forgive me. Emo Philips
➡️ Stealing ideas from one person is called plagiarism. Stealing from more is called research. Wilson Mizner
️ Wisdom comes from experience. Experience is usually the result of a lack of wisdom. Terry Pratchet
➡️ I think I’ve discovered the secret of life – you have to stay around until you get used to it. Charles M. Schulz
➡️ The reason I’m talking to myself is because I’m the only person whose answers I accept. George Carlin
➡️ You tried everything you could and you failed miserably. The lesson is: never try. Homer Simpson
➡️ Money does not bring happiness, but money would pay the research team that would analyze the problem of happiness. Bill Vaughan
Jean Kerr
➡️ When I am about to die, I would like to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. I wouldn’t want to die like the passengers in his car. Will Rogers
➡️ Life is a hospital where every patient is obsessed with the desire to change their bed. Charles Baudelaire
➡️ The smile is like a windshield wiper: it doesn’t stop the rain, but it allows you to see your way. Jeanne Wasbro
➡️ I find TV very educational. Every time someone turns it on, I go to the other room and read a book. Groucho Ma
➡️ People who don’t know me think I’m shy. People who know me wish they were shy. Mark Twain
➡️ Planning. Beat your head with the best way to get a random result. Ambrose Bierce
➡️ I don’t care what is written about me as long as it’s not true.Catherine Hepburn
➡️ I’m tired of all the nonsense about the fact that beauty is only superficial. It is quite deep and beautiful. What would you like – an adorable pancreas
➡️ I always wanted to be someone, but now I realize I should have been more precise. Lily Tomlin
➡️ I’ve always thought it’s good to learn from my own mistakes, so I’ve always been careful to do enough. Silviu O.
➡️ If my movies make another person feel bad, then I feel like I’ve done my job. Woody Allen
➡️ Recession is when your neighbor loses his job. Depression is when you lose your job. Chris Rock
As you get older, three things happen to you. The first thing: it leaves your memory. I can’t remember the other two. Norman Wisdom
➡️ Give a man some fire and one day it will be hot. Give a man fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life. Terry Pratchet
➡️ Laughing at the mistakes you make could prolong your life. If you laugh at someone else’s mistakes, you might shorten it. Cullen Hightower
➡️ Teamwork involves first and foremost wasting half your time explaining to others why they are wrong. George Wolinski
➡️ I’m kind of paranoid in the opposite direction. I suspect those around me are plotting for my happiness. JD Salinger
➡️ It took me 15 years to discover that I had no talent for writing, but I couldn’t give up later because at that time I was too famous. Robert Benchley
➡️ I was born with too few middle fingers for the world I live in. Marilyn Manson
➡️ Of all the wild beasts, the most dangerous is the gossip, and among the domestic ones is the flatterer. Diogenes of Sinope
➡️ Only two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity. And I’m not sure about the universe. Albert Einstein
➡️ I asked God to give me a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bicycle and asked him to forgive me. Emo Philips
➡️ Stealing ideas from one person is called plagiarism. Stealing from more is called research. Wilson Mizner
️ Wisdom comes from experience. Experience is usually the result of a lack of wisdom. Terry Pratchet
➡️ I think I’ve discovered the secret of life – you have to stay around until you get used to it. Charles M. Schulz
➡️ The reason I’m talking to myself is because I’m the only person whose answers I accept. George Carlin
➡️ You tried everything you could and you failed miserably. The lesson is: never try. Homer Simpson
➡️ Money does not bring happiness, but money would pay the research team that would analyze the problem of happiness. Bill Vaughan
Jean Kerr
➡️ When I am about to die, I would like to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. I wouldn’t want to die like the passengers in his car. Will Rogers
➡️ Life is a hospital where every patient is obsessed with the desire to change their bed. Charles Baudelaire
Short and funny quotes
These short, funny quotes once again demonstrate the power of the word, when simple words can significantly change our thoughts, affect our decisions, and even change our lives. The list contains the best funny and short quotes.
▶ ️ The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits. Albert Einstein
▶ ️ A picture makes a thousand denials. Ronald Reagan
▶ ️ No one will win the war of the sexes; he fraternizes too much with the enemy. Henry Kissinger
▶ ️ Housework won’t kill you, but why take the risk
▶ ️ Well, these are my principles and if you don’t like them… I have others! Groucho Marx
▶ ️ I would never die for my beliefs because I could be wrong. Bertrand Russell
Phyllis Diller
▶ ️ Bandit. Honest businessman. Ambrose Bierce
▶ ️ The conclusion is the stage in which you are tired of thinking. Arthur Bloc
▶ ️ I like long walks, especially when they are made by people who tease me. Fred Allen
▶ ️ Go to Heaven for climate, Hell for company. Mark Twain
▶ ️ I’m the literary equivalent of the Big Mac and the french fries. Stephen King
▶ ️ No bad questions, just stupid people. Scott Adams
▶ ️ A picture makes a thousand denials. Ronald Reagan
▶ ️ No one will win the war of the sexes; he fraternizes too much with the enemy. Henry Kissinger
▶ ️ Housework won’t kill you, but why take the risk
▶ ️ Well, these are my principles and if you don’t like them… I have others! Groucho Marx
▶ ️ I would never die for my beliefs because I could be wrong. Bertrand Russell
Phyllis Diller
▶ ️ Bandit. Honest businessman. Ambrose Bierce
▶ ️ The conclusion is the stage in which you are tired of thinking. Arthur Bloc
▶ ️ I like long walks, especially when they are made by people who tease me. Fred Allen
▶ ️ Go to Heaven for climate, Hell for company. Mark Twain
▶ ️ I’m the literary equivalent of the Big Mac and the french fries. Stephen King
▶ ️ No bad questions, just stupid people. Scott Adams
- 24 hours a day, 24 beers in a crate. Stephen Wright coincides
- I refuse to join any club that would accept me as a member. Groucho Marx
- I’m so smart that sometimes I don’t understand what I’m saying. Oscar Wilde
- Between 2 evils, I always choose the one I have never tried. Mae West
- Everyone wants to go to Heaven, but no one wants to die. Peter Tosh
- Courage is the art of being the only one who knows he is scared to death. James Harold Wilson
- The butcher’s wife believes that the pigs are made up exclusively of anthrax. Valeriu Butulescu
- I’m not afraid of death, I just don’t want to be there when it happens. Woody Allen
- I never forget a girl, but in your case I’m happy to make an exception. Groucho Marx
- If I let my imagination run wild, I’ll go to jail! Louie Anderson
- The men discovered the fire, but the women discovered how to play with it. Sarah Jessica Parker
Funny coffee quotes
Coffee is one of the favorite drinks of mankind. Here are some funny quotes about coffee that will make your day more fragrant and full of energy.
☕️ Coffee must be black as the devil, hot as hell, pure as an angel and sweet as love. Charles Maurice de Talleyrand-Perigord
☕️ The priest voodoo and maybe his charms were nothing but espresso, cappuccino and mocca, stronger than all the world’s religions taken together, and maybe stronger than the human soul itself. Mark Helprin
☕️ Chocolate, men, coffee and some things need to be as rich as possible. I think if I were a woman I would use coffee as a perfume. John Van Druten
☕️ Life is something that happens to you when you can’t sleep. Fran Lebowitz
☕️ People are not stupid as long as they have coffee. Cassandra Claire
☕️ If I didn’t like coffee so much, I wouldn’t have any special personality traits. David Letterman
☕️ I am grateful to all those who refused me in life. Thanks to them, I succeeded on my own. Albert Einstein
☕️ There are problems that only coffee and ice cream can solve. Amal El-Mohtar
☕️ There is no one who, after leaving the cafe, after a few cups, does not think he is smarter and more confident than he was when he entered. Montesquieu
☕️ Caffeine-free coffee is the devil’s invention. No one can understand the truth until they taste the sweetness of coffee. Sheikh Abd-al-Kadir
☕️ Coffee makes us stern, serious and philosophical. Jonathan Swift
For coffee, you can do anything. Even to go to work. Bill Gates
☕️ There are things we deserve to be loyal to. For example, coffee. John Galsworthy
☕️ The moment you get ready to drink a cup of hot and hard coffee, your boss will ask you to do something that lasts exactly until the moment the coffee has cooled. Drinking coffee without caffeine is like kissing your sister. Bob Irwin
☕️ The priest voodoo and maybe his charms were nothing but espresso, cappuccino and mocca, stronger than all the world’s religions taken together, and maybe stronger than the human soul itself. Mark Helprin
☕️ Chocolate, men, coffee and some things need to be as rich as possible. I think if I were a woman I would use coffee as a perfume. John Van Druten
☕️ Life is something that happens to you when you can’t sleep. Fran Lebowitz
☕️ People are not stupid as long as they have coffee. Cassandra Claire
☕️ If I didn’t like coffee so much, I wouldn’t have any special personality traits. David Letterman
☕️ I am grateful to all those who refused me in life. Thanks to them, I succeeded on my own. Albert Einstein
☕️ There are problems that only coffee and ice cream can solve. Amal El-Mohtar
☕️ There is no one who, after leaving the cafe, after a few cups, does not think he is smarter and more confident than he was when he entered. Montesquieu
☕️ Caffeine-free coffee is the devil’s invention. No one can understand the truth until they taste the sweetness of coffee. Sheikh Abd-al-Kadir
☕️ Coffee makes us stern, serious and philosophical. Jonathan Swift
For coffee, you can do anything. Even to go to work. Bill Gates
☕️ There are things we deserve to be loyal to. For example, coffee. John Galsworthy
☕️ The moment you get ready to drink a cup of hot and hard coffee, your boss will ask you to do something that lasts exactly until the moment the coffee has cooled. Drinking coffee without caffeine is like kissing your sister. Bob Irwin
Funny quotes
For an extra portion of positivism every day, read these funny, meaningful, motivating and so funny quotes in English.
If you’re going through hell, keep going. Winston Churchill
🌎 A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. Lana Turner
🌎 Success is the ability to go from failure to failure without losing your enthusiasm. Winston Churchill
🌎 The first thing you learn in life is you’re a fool. The last thing you learn in life is you’re the same fool. R. Bradbury
🌎 When you do something noble and beautiful and nobody noticed, do not be sad. For the sun every morning is a beautiful spectacle and yet most of the audience still sleeps. John Lennon
🌎 My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far I’ve finished two bags of M&M’s and a chocolate cake. I feel better already. Dave Barry
🌎 Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back. Oscar Wilde
🌎 A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. Lana Turner
🌎 Success is the ability to go from failure to failure without losing your enthusiasm. Winston Churchill
🌎 The first thing you learn in life is you’re a fool. The last thing you learn in life is you’re the same fool. R. Bradbury
🌎 When you do something noble and beautiful and nobody noticed, do not be sad. For the sun every morning is a beautiful spectacle and yet most of the audience still sleeps. John Lennon
🌎 My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far I’ve finished two bags of M&M’s and a chocolate cake. I feel better already. Dave Barry
🌎 Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back. Oscar Wilde
